Are Our Lives Predestined?
It was sometime around November of 1984. I was 26. I was eating dinner in a dark restaurant in downtown Minneapolis. I can’t remember the name of the place, but I recall it may have been in an old hotel. The reason my friends and I had chosen that restaurant was because it was known for having an old man who went from table to table and did ‘readings’ for customers. He had a reputation for being surprisingly accurate and good at what he did. When he arrived at our table, he asked me if I had a question for him.
At the time, I had been trying unsuccessfully for about four years to have a baby, so I asked him; “When will my baby be born?” After a moment, he shook his head, looked a bit bewildered and said; “Well, it’s not for me to question the information I’m getting, but I’m being told your baby will be born in January.” I said, “Really? January? As in two months from now?” He looked as perplexed as I felt and he nodded and said; “Yes. I’ve checked it several times. Yes, in two months from now.”
Clearly, I was not seven months pregnant. We both would have noticed that! We all sat there in the uncomfortable silence for a moment before he moved on. I remember feeling cheated and duped. (Because, of course, I paid him up-front for that ridiculous information!)
Three years later, in October of 1987, my husband and I received a phone call from the adoption agency explaining that a child was available for adoption.
Though we had not registered to adopt an older child, (our adoption application was specifically for an infant) the social worker told me she had seen our file and our pictures and just felt she had to call and ask us if we’d consider an older child, this older child. On October 24, 1987 we brought home our beautiful daughter. Her name was Jessica Rose. She was just shy of her third birthday, born on January 13, 1985. Exactly as the old man at the restaurant had predicted.
I have had my own experiences with premonitions, dreams that predict events to come. They make me wonder; How much of our lives are pre-scripted? I have no doubt that my daughter and I had somehow agreed to spend this lifetime together, to find each other through adoption, just the way we did. Every once in a while the mystery and the miracle of that prediction hits me again, like it did today after spending time with Jessica, who is now a beautiful 27-year-old woman.
Today I found myself remembering these miraculous events from all those years ago, and I wondered anew; why do I spend any time worrying when I know deep down that I participated in some way in creating this life before I was born and that I still create and co-create it every day. As another daughter once told me in a dream a decade before her birth; “You know that I will be coming someday. We’ve already decided this. Be patient.”
Patience has never been a my strongest quality!
Credo Mysterium. I believe in the mystery.
There is so much Divinity in the Everyday