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Posts tagged ‘grace’

Illuminated Manuscripts & The Holy Now

IMGI have been away so long, because for a while now I have been lost along the Way. Today, I found something I wrote a long time ago. It came back to me like a ray of light shining dimly through the nearly closed door into the dark room where I found myself once again. The door that swung ever-so-slowly shut while my back was turned, while my attention was elsewhere. Elsewhere in the past focused on pain and guilt, and in the future full of fear and dread; both in my personal life and reflected in the world at large. Reading my words from so long ago, I felt a faint knocking on my heart, a reminder that it is time to wake up again, to stand up, to turn and open the door once more. These are the words I read:

0001KQImagine all of the world’s sacred texts each transcribed onto their own single, thin transparent page. Each page rendered lovingly in vivid colors in the elaborate calligraphy of an illuminated manuscript. Each one striving to reveal the divine to a particular people at a particular time in a particular place.

Now, envision each fragile, holy page carefully layered one atop another. Stacked and neatly aligned, they are then lifted up to the divine light. All earthly interpretations dissolve while areas of commonality blend and deepen, rise to the surface. Like a stained glass cathedral window, only beauty emerges.

100_2667You begin to experience the enlightened words as they wash over you. Love. Compassion. Mercy. Forgiveness. Unity. From many voices, one divine source shines down on you and you are held suspended in an indescribable abiding love that seems to expand beyond your capacity to contain it. So you don’t try to contain it anymore. That’s when surrender comes.

All illusion dissolves, the veil is lifted, and you are free once again to see the divinity. In the only place it resides. In the here and now.

The divinity in the everyday. Every day.

Mammaste

I searched through 20,000 of my photos to find a particular image for ending this blog, but I couldn’t find it. But here is the one I kept finding–so I relented. A big fist-bump from the universe. Rock on, it seems to say. You’ve got this. We’ve got this.20150627_132321

Forgiveness is a Funny Thing…

That is the astonishing revelation of forgiveness once it is freely given; it doesn’t excuse the offender or the offense, it sets the one who forgives, free.

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Expect A Miracle (An Adoption Story)

They mentioned that it was a private adoption, but they knew a little bit about the background of the adoptive parents and their first names, all of which they shared with me. It felt like a bolt of electricity had just shot through me. I was shocked by what I’d just heard. “I know them,” I gasped.

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Seriously Bittersweet Love

He is impressively quick to dodge the meatloaf as it flies across the room and splats against the wall where he was just standing. It hangs there for a moment, the suction created by the raw meat holds it to the wall momentarily as we both stare at it, eyebrows raised, in a kind of reverential silence. Eventually gravity takes over and the pink mound begins to slide slowly down the beige wall, leaving a slimy trail of red ketchup and flecks of onion in its wake. I notice that the onions have been chopped a bit too big. I make a mental note to dice them much smaller next time.

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Drowning

Drowning is truly a quiet affair. My arms stretched out at my sides, my head tilted back seeing only sky as I tried to keep my mouth and nose above the waves. I couldn’t make a sound, nor could I wave my arms. When I tried, I would immediately go under. All around me, even brushing against me, people were splashing and screaming and laughing, oblivious to my struggle. Finally, exhausted, I gave up and lowered my chin.

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Pollyanna

This 'Way' of being in the world, of seeing the world as inherently good, of life as ultimately hopeful, and beautiful and sacred, is an exercise in flexing my ‘intention’ muscle every day. This loving outlook is an awareness I cultivate consciously. It is my spiritual practice of divine perspective. It is an intention of being a non-judgmental observer of myself and others. It involves, much of the time, my being unreasonably optimistic.

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You Were Born For This Moment

Subzero Sunrise

Subzero Sunrise

We often think the meaningful stuff of life will happen for us in big  ‘Ah-Ha’ moments when we suddenly see what our purpose is, discover our passion or perceive why we are here so we can get down to the business of  living our truest life. But what if because we are looking for what we assume it will look like, we are missing that it is already here, right in front of us?

Today, as I sat in my idling car at a red light on one of the coldest days in Minnesota history, I suddenly remembered a sunny summer evening sitting on the grass outside an elementary school down the street from our home. A school aptly named “Golden Years.”  I was watching my youngest daughter wobble around on her little bicycle that had just recently metamorphosed from four wheels to two. She had begged me to take her to the park so she could practice riding on what she called the ‘pie’ court. She was referring to the tattered basketball court at the base of the sloping hill where I sat watching her ride; tanned legs pumping, brown braids flapping.

Round and round she circled the rectangle, carefully cutting corners and bumping over cracks in the tar where tenacious weeds found purchase and grew stubby and thick under the regular trampling of feet. As I watched her ride I began to wonder why she calls this the ‘pie’ court. It was obviously not round . . . I called out to her as she cycled by me; “Why do you call this the ‘pie’ court?” On her next pass she yelled to me,
“It’s because there is a pie in the middle!”

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I looked, but I couldn’t see any circles anywhere on the court. “Where?” I shouted as she whizzed by again. This time she answered me well after she had passed by and I heard her words faintly trailing off, “It’s in the shape of the weeds!”

I looked again, this time really trying to see what she saw and suddenly,  there it was. Not the pie I assumed I’d see–not the round shape with a big triangle slice cut out. No, the weeds growing in the cracks of the basketball court formed an almost perfect symbol for pi. Not apple pie, but mathematical pi!  I was delighted to see it. My daughter was like a magician making something appear before my very eyes that wasn’t there a moment before (something children often do).

I hadn’t thought about that memory since that day a few years before and it made me feel a little sad. I realized there are so many details of my life that I will forget that are so simply beautiful.

piberational_fullpic_artworkI suddenly longed to remember all the small details that have made up this life of mine.  I wondered, what if NOW is always the moment we were born for? What if every NOW contains the potential of living out our purpose, our passion, our reason for being? What if we looked at it that way, that we were born for this very moment in time, all the time? (Yes, even these moments in idling cars, waiting for lights to change.) I wonder, would we finally see the vast infinity of pi (even in the weeds) if we stopped looking so hard for that big slice of apple pie?  I wonder.

Mammaste

Divinity in the Everyday

The Things We Do For Love?

So what happens when we realize what we thought we were giving out of love, we were really giving in exchange for love? What can we do when we feel resentment or bitterness welling up over something we’ve given in exchange for less than what we expected?

Well, that’s the amazing thing about gifts of love–we can retroactively transform those past transactions into gifts by simply forgiving any perceived debt! We can just burn the invoice, tear up the bill, erase it from the ledger in our heart. The alchemy of this transformation is pure magic, and you and I, we are all magicians at heart.

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And Isn’t It Ironic, Don’t You Think?

Sigh. I love my husband more than that holy water. I really do. But I'm not gonna' lie, it is a love that was sorely tested that day.

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Are Our Lives Predestined?

At the time, I had been trying unsuccessfully for about six years to have a baby, so I asked him; “When will my baby be born?” After a moment, he shook his head, looked a bit bewildered and said; “Well, it’s not for me to question the information I’m getting, but I’m being told your baby will be born in January.” I said, “Really? January? As in two months from now?” He looked as perplexed as I felt and he nodded and said; “Yes. I’ve checked it several times. Yes, in two months from now.” Clearly, I was not seven months pregnant. We both would have noticed that!

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