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Winds of Change

I am recycling this blog from just over one year ago, because rereading it now, it seemed so long ago that I was wondering what transformation this particular transition would lead to. But only 14 months later, I am the CEO of my own fledgling company, Mammaste! I guess I stretched myself enough to grab that next thread .  .  . and it was not easy, since I’m definitely not as flexible as I used to be!

“Transitions are hard.” my friend says to me as we watch the orange bus carrying my fifth and last child to school pull away from the curb. “They just are.” she declares, just in case I missed the sincerity of her point. These words are from my dear, no-nonsense friend. Her remarks are in response to the tears welling up in my eyes. She is not a cajoler or a hugger but she pats me on the shoulder, awkwardly, like one would a dog you don’t quite trust. I’m surprised by this physical gesture from her. The thought crosses my mind that I must look pretty pathetic for her to attempt a comforting touch, and this thought is enough to make me smile. I love her for that.

Transitions ARE hard–those times when we find ourselves un-moored and floating in that in-between sea of change. It happens to most of us in varying degrees at some point. It can happen as a result of divorce, the loss of a job, children growing up and moving out, or any event that causes us to reexamine ourselves and the direction of our lives. It’s been over thirteen years since I left my job to stay home and raise my children full-time. I appreciate the gift of being able to choose to stay home and I have (mostly) loved it.  But what I am drifting away from has defined me for so long, I suddenly feel like a stranger to myself.

I’ve been thinking about how I became each new incarnation of myself through prior experiences of change and transition in my life. Each time there was a point when I took a deep breath and began to look for that next thread of opportunity to follow. What I learned is you don’t find that thread with your head down.  It is always up there fluttering high above you, seemingly beyond your reach until you stretch and extend yourself just enough to grab it.

I am smiling now at the obvious sentimentality of that last statement and how it would make my pragmatic friend gag. Reason enough for me to leave it in here. She is as frugal with her words as she is with her money and she would probably say again, “Transitions are hard. They just are, damn it.” Enough said.


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10 Comments Post a comment
  1. Connie Wilde #

    This is great! Ditto on all the mushy stuff.

    September 14, 2010
    • That means a lot, especially because you used so many words to affirm me. 🙂

      September 14, 2010
  2. Mary Clare #

    I like your pragmatic friend too. I appreciate her poetic (brief) remarks, but she already knows that. 🙂

    Nice post, so true!

    September 14, 2010
  3. And oops. I did not mean to “Like” my own post. I realize this is very un-Lutheran and un-Minnesotan to publicly “like” yourself, but I can’t figure out how to undo it!

    September 14, 2010
    • Wendy #

      Good and timely blog. However, I am enjoying your “Like” comment even more. How un-Minnesotan… tee hee 😉

      September 14, 2010
  4. Lorraine #

    I love this post and the hopeful, reaching higher image of hope. Methinks that is St. Francis? Elizabeth shared it with me as a time of transition is upon me. Thanks for the no nonsense reminder. I need it. Much peace, Lorraine

    September 14, 2010
    • Thanks Lorraine. Chin up! One thing I know for sure is that there is so much growth that comes from the struggle itself. Of course, we can only truly appreciate that once the struggle is over. It’s a not-so-funny “gotcha” from the universe. And it’s true. Transitions are hard, damn it. So cut yourself a lot of slack. Good luck.

      September 15, 2010
  5. Laurie #

    You have a gift for writing the true adventures of our hearts.

    September 14, 2010
  6. Liz #

    Love your post. I think you’ve already grabbed a new thread with your writing and can’t wait to see where it leads you!

    September 17, 2010

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