I’m A Believer . . . An Adoption Story
I am a firm believer that we come together in this life with the people we are meant to spend it with. I believe it is possible that plan includes lessons we agree to teach each other, lessons in love. I believe both the hardships and the joys are teaching us those lessons equally. We just don’t always have the perspective to see that truth very clearly as we are living them.
During my eight years of infertility treatments and yearly surgeries trying to conceive, I would dream of a golden light flickering between my heart and the heart of a child. It was a faint light like the one you see along the bottom of a closed door while standing in a darkened room. I had a feeling that this child was looking for me as desperately as I was searching for her. A part of me knew that if I could just find the key and unlock the door we would be connected by that light.
The journey of coming to a new, expanded definition of what the family I dreamed of having someday would look like was an arduous, but necessary one. I wouldn’t change it if I could. Eventually, I surrendered my attachment to the narrow definition I had of my dream family. I decided to trust in the possibility there was a larger plan I might be a part of, one in which I was not fully in control. When I finally let go, I was set free.
Finishing all the preliminary paperwork with the adoption agencies gave me a sense of release and filled me with excitement. I felt like I had found the lost key and I was opening that door. It did not take long before my daughter walked through it. When she did, she seemed to say; “What took you so long?” After she arrived, I left that door open.
I believe the light that connects us to our children does not differ between biological or adopted. I believe the birth mothers and fathers who play a vital role in opening those doors of connection are beautiful souls living out their own journeys and lessons on love. I am immeasurably grateful to them and have compassion for the difficult decision they had to make.
I believe I learned a big lesson on the expansive quality of love when I threw open the door of my heart and trusted. My home and my heart are both full. Yes, I’m a believer.
November is National Adoption Month, This blog is dedicated to the gift of Adoption. Three of our five children are adopted.
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