Yeah, ‘Cuz I’m Green Like That
Sometimes, on a sunny Saturday, I take my reusable grocery bag and hop on my tricked out cruiser bicycle (the airplane handle-bar accessory has a propeller that spins in the wind) and I ride to the Co-op. Once there, I pull into the crowded bike rack and have to yank my hair out of the little airplane propeller where it gets caught as I bend over to lock my bike. I head inside the store where I glad-hand and “hey-there!” all the neighbors I run into as I pick up a gallon of locally produced milk, a loaf of extreme whole grain bread (12-Grain, 13-Grain, whatever it takes) and some fresh, certified organic fruit and veggies.
I load my single, $80 bag of groceries in my bike basket and I head on home to catch the latest episode of “Life” on the Discovery channel. Did I mention I am pedaling uphill against a stiff wind? Yeah, ‘cuz I’m green like that.
But sometimes, under the cover of night, I drive the six blocks in my station wagon to our neighborhood semi-Super Target. Yes, the same one I boycott in the daylight hours because of their questionable campaign contributions of late. Once there, I put up my hoodie and try to go unnoticed as I sheepishly avoid occupying the same aisle at the same time as anyone else I might know. I imagine a birds-eye view of my carefully choreographed evasive moves looking like Blinky from Pac-Man trying to gobble up groceries before I’m overtaken.
I load my cart with food I can actually afford and, as usual, I forget my reusable grocery bags in the car. I weigh the merits of walking ALL THE WAY back to my car to get them and decide it does not seem worth saving a tree, or the owl and its big-eyed fluffy babies that live in it. After all, I’d miss the beginning of “Glee” if I did that. As I slink out to the lot and unload my cart, my loaf of fluffy white D’Italiano bread falls out of a bag and rolls under the tire of the car pulling out next to me. Did I mention I walked ALL THE WAY back into the store to buy another loaf? Yeah, ‘cuz sometimes, I’m really green like THAT.
Hey, come on, don’t judge me. ‘Cuz I’m imperfect like that!
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